Boys Don't Bake Cake - Script

Boys Don’t Bake Cake
A short play by conrad a. panganiban
Version: 2010/09/25

Cast of Characters
Malou Gaspar: 23. Female.
Karen Gaspar: 21. Female. Kristine’s sister. Malou’s cousin.
Kristine Gaspar: 22. Female. Karen’s sister. Malou’s cousin.
Justin Basa: 24. Male. Malou’s BFF.

Setting

Malou’s apartment dining room.
Lights up revealing the apartment dining room of MALOU GASPAR. A “Congratulations” banner hangs on the back wall. A table with 3 chairs is on stage.

ENTER MALOU, KAREN, and KRISTINE carrying flowers and gift bags. MALOU is still in her graduation gown.

KRISTINE
I’m telling you, he’s so in love with you.

KAREN
It’s so obvious.

MALOU
Guys, give it a rest. Just put those over there. Thanks. I told you, we’re just friends.

KAREN
Did you see his sign?

KRISTINE
Who could miss it?

KAREN
Those posterboards must have cost a fortune!

KRISTINE
I know. How many letters are in CONGRATULATIONS MALOU GASPAR, YOU ROCK exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point. That’s like, one, two, three… a lot of letters.

MALOU
I barely noticed, Kristine.

KAREN
How could you have not? They were hot pink big cards with gold letters.

KRISTINE
And they were glittery.

KAREN
Glittery?
KRISTINE
Yup. Glittery.

KAREN
Glittery! You could see your name from outer space!

MALOU
It was nice.

KAREN
Girl, you got him whooped.

MALOU
Karen. I told you. Justin’s just a friend.

KRISTINE
What kind of friend could convince (counting with her fingers) a lot of people to hold up each of those letters for you.

MALOU
A good friend.

KAREN
A good friend with benefits?

MALOU
(laughing)
Shut up…

KRISTINE
Just how good are those benefits?

MALOU
Guys! Stop it!

KAREN
He is cute.

KRISTINE
A lot cuter than Monté.

KAREN
Ew. Malou’s crush in elementary school.

MALOU
Middle school.

KRISTINE
And he dresses better than Howard.

KAREN
Ulk. Howard the Duck.

MALOU
Now, that’s just mean.

KRISTINE
Malou. For reals. Didn’t you think that his lips look like a duck?

KAREN
Yeah. How did you kiss like…?

MALOU
Guys.

KAREN
Sergio?

KRISTINE
Yes! Oh my God! Sergio! Trying to get him to even say hi was like pulling a tooth! Remember at Papang’s 90th birthday?

KAREN
Exactly! (to Malou) You would go around to the family introducing him. And all he would do is move his head up and grunt.

KRISTINE
So embarrassing.

MALOU
What’s so wrong about the quiet type?

KAREN
Quiet like a stalker.

MALOU
Okay. I haven’t had the best record with men lately?

KRISTINE
We’re not hating on you, Malou.

MALOU
You sure?

KRISTINE
It’s just that we see this really cool person who is so obviously in love with you and you can’t see it. We just want you to be happy.

KAREN
Yeah.

MALOU
I am happy. I’m ecstatic! I just finished 5 years of college and I’m finally heading out into the real world.

KRISTINE
Alone.

MALOU
Independent.

KAREN
Well, wouldn’t you want Justin out there in the real world with you?

MALOU
Have you been talking to my mom?

KRISTINE
Well, she did say something to our mom, and you know how sisters are.

MALOU
Yeah. Always meddling.

A knock is heard. MALOU gets up and heads to the door.

KAREN
(to MALOU) But it’s out of love. (to KRISTINE) Right?

KRISTINE
(like duhhh…)
Yeahhh…

Enter MALOU with a bouquet of flowers with JUSTIN right behind her carrying a cake box.

MALOU
They smell so fresh.

JUSTIN
That’s because I got them from the campus garden.

MALOU
Dummy. You could’ve got caught.

JUSTIN
You only graduate once. And I know that they’re your favorite.

KAREN & KRISTINE
Awee…

MALOU
Shhh… And you remember my cousins. Kristine and Karen.

KAREN & KRISTINE
Hi.

KAREN
Loved the sign!

JUSTIN
Thanks.

KRISTINE
Must’ve taken you forever to make it.

JUSTIN
Just a couple of weeks. Had to sneak it in between finals. Plus had to make sure she never knew about it. Did you?

MALOU
Total surprise. Thank you.

JUSTIN
And that’s not all.

JUSTIN holds out the cake box.

MALOU
Uh…

JUSTIN
Just open it.

As MALOU opens the box, KAREN and KRISTINE gather around to see what’s inside.

KAREN
Wow.

KRISTINE
That’s a lot of letters.

JUSTIN
I’m getting better at piping.

KAREN
You didn’t? This?

JUSTIN
Red Velvet with Buttercream frosting and filling.

KRISTINE
(to MALOU) Your favorite?

MALOU nods as JUSTIN puts the cake box on the table.

JUSTIN
Please dig right in. There’s clean plates and forks still in the dishwasher cuz this one doesn’t know how to use it. Lou, there’s fresh towels in your bano?

MALOU
Just put them up this morning.

JUSTIN
Cool. We can leave when you’re ready. If you’ll please excuse me. Enjoy!

JUSTIN exits. KAREN exits to get three forks.

KRISTINE
If you don’t take him, I will.

MALOU
I told you. He doesn’t like me in that way.

KAREN re-enters with forks in hand and sits at table with KRISTINE. BOTH take turns eating the cake through this scene.

KAREN
Woman, he baked you a cake? Not a Twinkie. Not a Ho-ho. Or that other thing…

KRISTINE
Suzie-Q.

KAREN
Thank you, Ate. Yeah. Not a Suzie-Q. A cake!

KRISTINE
And boys don’t bake cake!

KAREN
He’s so in love with you.

KRISTINE
So in love.

MALOU
No.

KAREN
Yup.

MALOU
Can’t be.

KRISTINE
He’s got it bad.

MALOU
Bad?

KAREN
He baked you a cake!

KAREN takes another bite of the cake.

KRISTINE
(imitating JUSTIN)
I’m getting better at piping.

KAREN
(with her mouth full of cake)
And it’s SO GOOOOOD!

MALOU
Justin?

KRISTINE and KAREN nod their heads as their mouths are full.

Enter JUSTIN. As JUSTIN says his lines below, MALOU begins to walk over to him.

JUSTIN
I fixed your bathroom lock again. Just remember to lift it up a little with a little jiggle as you press the…

MALOU is about to give JUSTIN a kiss… when he stops her.

JUSTIN
Malou. What are you doing?

MALOU
I… Uh… I just thought.

JUSTIN
Remember Greg?

MALOU
Yeah.

JUSTIN
Well, we’re getting back together. I was going to tell you.

MALOU
Oh. Oh… well. That’s uh… That’s uh… great. That’s great news. You guys look great together.

JUSTIN
Oh, honey. Whatever gave you the idea that…

MALOU looks over at KAREN and KRISTINE. BOTH look down at the cake.

KAREN
Butter cream frosting? Yummy!

KRISTINE
So moist.

MALOU
It’s just. I’m scared okay. School’s finished and now I have to face the real world alone.

JUSTIN
(hugging MALOU)
Silly Willy. You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.

Holding out his pinky.

BFF’s?

MALOU intertwine’s her pinky with his.

MALOU
BFFs.

MALOU and JUSTIN hug.

MALOU
I’m sorry.

JUSTIN
Real love is never having to say you’re sorry, or some other stupid saying like that. Capiche?

MALOU
Capiche.

JUSTIN
So, are you ready to go?

MALOU
The party? Right. I forgot. My cousins are here and we’re…

JUSTIN
Well they’re, I mean, Karen, Kristine, you’re invited to come as well.

MALOU
It’s alright. They flew here for the graduation and we were just catching up. Sorry.

JUSTIN
Hey! Remember what I said about having to say sorry. But that’s great. Family together time. Cute. It’s all good. Still on for brunch tomorrow?

MALOU
Like every week.

JUSTIN
It was great seeing both of you again.

KAREN & KRISTINE
Bye. Thanks for the cake.

MALOU
I’ll walk you to the door.

MALOU and JUSTIN exit. MALOU re-enters. KAREN holds up a fork. MALOU takes the fork, sits between her cousins, click their forks together to say “cheers” and MALOU takes a little bit of the cake. KRISTINE and KAREN just watch her while KRISTINE brushes the hair out of MALOU’s eyes and KAREN strokes her back.

Lights fade.


THE END